Partner therapy
Betrayal Trauma and Partner Therapy
Discovering that your partner has been hiding sexual behavior, pornography use or infidelity can turn your world upside down. Brad Salzman, LCSW, CSAT, offers individual online therapy for partners and spouses of sex addicts, helping them heal from betrayal trauma.
What is betrayal trauma?
Betrayal trauma is a term for the deep hurt and shock many people feel when they discover that a partner has been keeping sexual secrets, such as compulsive pornography use, affairs, or paying for sex. The person you trusted most may suddenly feel like a stranger, and everyday life can be hard to manage.
Common reactions
- Shock, disbelief, or feeling numb
- Hurt, anger, or confusion
- Replaying what you found out, or searching for more information
- Trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating
- Blaming yourself or feeling ashamed, even though you did nothing wrong by being lied to
- Not knowing whom you can talk to
These reactions are understandable. You deserve support of your own, whatever you decide about the future.
After a discovery or disclosure
Whether you found out on your own or your partner told you, the first weeks are often the hardest. Information may come out in pieces, and each new piece can feel like starting over. Therapy can help you steady yourself, think about what you need to know and how you want to hear it, and set boundaries that feel safe.
Your safety and health come first. If you are worried about your physical safety, or about sexually transmitted infections, those concerns deserve attention right away. Brad can help you think through practical next steps, including medical testing.
Your therapy and your partner’s
In individual sessions the focus is on you: what you have been through, how you are coping, and what you need now. You do not need your partner’s permission to start, and you decide what, if anything, is shared. If your partner is in their own treatment, the two can run side by side.
If you want to understand more about what your partner may be facing, read about sex addiction and pornography addiction. When both of you are ready, Brad also helps couples prepare a therapeutic disclosure and offers couples therapy. Sessions are held online, so you can talk somewhere private. How online sessions work.
Common questions
Do I need my partner to be in therapy for me to get help?
No. These sessions are for you, whether or not your partner is getting help.
Do I have to decide whether to stay or leave?
No. You do not need to have made any decisions to start. Therapy can give you space to think clearly about what you want.
Is it my fault?
No. Being lied to is not your fault. Many partners still find themselves asking this question, and therapy is a safe place to work through it.
Learn more
What colleagues say
“Brad Salzman offers knowledgeable and supportive guidance for individuals and couples navigating some of the most difficult and delicate issues in a relationship. His work is compassionate, focused, and grounded in helping clients move forward.”
“I cannot recommend Brad Salzman highly enough. His expert guidance has been invaluable in my work with individuals facing attachment trauma and addiction, particularly those in challenging relationships. His approach not only enhanced my professional skills but also empowered me personally. Through our sessions, I’ve gained insights and tools that have helped me grow as a parent, spouse, friend, and clinician. He has truly helped me become the healthier and empowered person I strive to be. Anyone looking for profound professional and personal development would greatly benefit from his expertise.”
Free, confidential consultation
Sessions are held online. Licensed in New York (LCSW).